Who the hell does Colin Montgomerie think he is? His latest tirade has been launched at Ernie Els, who is forced to miss the season-ending Volvo Masters at Valderrama, due to commitments he made to play in the Asian Tour in Singapore.

Okay, so Els leads the European Order of Merit and it would have been great if he could have made the prestigious Volvo event, Europe's flagship tournament. But Els is a man of his word as he signed a contract to play in Asia. He did not want to go back on his promise.

Monty, on the other hand, is a has-been, well past his prime (more like prime rib if you look at his ever expanding gut) and clearly still suffering the after-effects of his wife leaving him. He even verbally attacked Ryder Cup captain Nick Faldo after Faldo leaked a story about the Scot's poor performance in the Seve Trophy in Ireland. Apparently Montgomerie "had failed to turn up for team meetings" leading Faldo to question "his commitment to the event".

Here's some advice Colin: deal with your own messed up life before you start making enemies of fellow players. You may find they are your only friends.

Surprise, surprise - Spanish cyclist Iban Mayo has now also been suspended for doping during the Tour de Farce (see below).

How stupid do you have to be, in this age if infinite testing? Did he really think that he would get away with taking performancing enhancing drugs at the world's most-scrutinised cycling event?

But then again, perhaps I give him too much credit. After all, it's not like he works for Nasa, or anything. A talent-less no-hoper like Mayo could probably only ply his trade in a corrupt sport like cycling.

And what's up with former drugs cheat David Millar now suddenly taking a holier-than-thou attitude? The Briton has been Mr Rent-A-Quote this week , merrily condemning all the other drugs cheats in the sport. Sorry David, but you are as tainted as all the rest of the dopers. The British media is just kinder on you because you are one of their own.

It amazes me how the media are feigning shock and horror this morning as news breaks of the latest doping saga to hit the Tour De France. This time around the race leader Michael Rasmussen had to pull out after his team, Rabobank, suspected he lied to them on his whereabouts earlier this year when he missed doping tests.

The brouhaha is apparently because this is the first time that the wearer of the esteemed yellow jersey has been sacked by his team for alleged doping offences.

I will say this once (and am well aware that there may be some cycling die-hards out there somewhere who cling to the delusion that the sport will somehow climb out of the gutter): NOBODY WITH HALF A BRAIN WILL EVER TAKE CYCLING SERIOUSLY EVER AGAIN!

The Tour de France is a joke. I would rather stick hot needles in my eyes than take cycling for anything more than an opportunity to see what the wonders of modern doping can do...

Having spent the best part of my life playing sport, watching sport and writing about sport, I am angered at all the lost years spent watching cycling. Who knows what was coursing through the veins of all those successful competitors over the years, before doping controls became more advanced?

I have a proposition though: why doesn't the Tour de France abandon ALL doping regulations. They could allow ANY drugs to be taken. That would make the race really exciting... Sure, some cyclists may drop dead along the way, but hey, at least we will not have to act surprised anymore...

Well, well, well... what do you know... There I was reporting that Sussex skipper Chris Adams' looked set to be heading up north (see post last month). But following the about-turn on his decision to take over the managerial helm at Yorkshire, it now looks like Allan Donald is the latest player linked with the top job.

The former South African paceman has apparently been talked into taking the post by Yorkshire's England bowler Matthew Hoggard, who played briefly for Free State in the SA provincial league with Donald.

Watch this space...

Right, so firstly Zara Phillips is named BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Apparently by popular vote... Umm... No offence but I thought you needed a PERSONALITY to win that gong.

How can a woman who, let's face it, was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, have more PERSONALITY that Phil "The Power" Taylor?! The larger-than-life Taylor is cooler than a truckload of monkeys and has brought more excitement to darts than a dozen, shallow,  horse-faced royals. Or Darren Clarke? The man showed great temerity to rise above the odds, overcame the death of his wife and effectively delivered the Ryder Cup to Europe. Or even Monty Panesar? Do you honestly mean to tell me that Monty did not entertain/amuse/brighten an otherwise bleak UK public as much as what's-her-face?!

But I suppose I understand now how a man like George W Bush slithered his way into office in the USA... There's just no accounting for taste when the public are asked to vote on anything...

Anyway, then there was Chelsea v Arsenal on Sunday. And the eternal question? Is there a player in English football who is more derided than Ashley Cole? It's strange to hear dyed-in-the-wool Liverpool fans (at the Sports Bar in Leeds) say for the first time in their lives that they wouldn't mind if Man United won the Premiership for the next few seasons if only to see Cole go home empty-handed!

Latest cricket news is that the Sussex captain Chris Adams could be heading north (just like yours truly).

Adams, who led Sussex to the county championship last season, is now 36-years old and I suspect he has been offered a comfortable package to move to Yorkshire. This is probably in the form of a playing contract that will include some sort of managerial role. If he accepts the deal, Adams could bring a wealth of experience to Headlingley.

Remember, Craig White threw in the towel last season, so Yorkshire need a strong hand on the tiller, and Adams looks a good candidate.