On the road to Marrakech
Reality bites
poggy style (pace downtown)

Want a sweety, little girl?

My voice has clearly not yet recovered from the vile snotty-headed, chesty cold that I am now almost rid of.  I've just tried to phone one of our other offices twice:

'Hellooooooo!  Charity-that-sounds-like-a-70s-kiddy-sci-fi-programme.  Jasmine speaking.  How can I help you?'

'Hi Jasmine, Pog here ...' *crash*

'Hello?'

It happened again.

On my third try she said 'Did you say Pog?'

'Um, yes'

'Oh - sorry - you sounded just like this bloke that's been making obscene phone calls here all day.'

Great.  Just great.  I've moved on from Dot Cotton to the Dirty Phantom Heavy Breathing Bloke.
11.5.07 16:25


Egypt - the highlights

  • Red Sea - no it isn't.
  • Getting bladdered on next door's Jack Daniels on first night, doing the 'Madness' dance outside in the wee hours and jumping into the pool fully dressed is a very, very good way of nearly getting chucked out on your first night.
  • And your second.
  • Egyptian cab drivers are homicidal/suicidal nutcases.  Take a friend with you who will smack them on the back of the head while shouting 'Watch the road!' and 'BOTH hands on the wheel!' as you gibber in the corner watching the road rush past through the holes in the floor.
  • Egyptian wine is not weaker than European wine.  Fact.
  • Nor is Egyptian beer.
  • It is very weird to enter your hotel room in the afternoons to find the staff have made amusing models out of your towels and sometimes your bedspreads.  The most impressive was the life-sized crocodile, which required both bedspreads and towels.  The creepiest was the babies, which had toilet rolls for heads.  With faces drawn on.
  • That wasn't feta.
2.5.07 17:28


Recipe

Take one Bank Holiday weekend and a handful of friends.

First pop down to Borough Market to acquire perfect cheeses, cream, butchers' sausages, artisan bread, bitter leaves, sweet plum tomatoes, perfect potatoes and onions, fresh sweet herbs and anything else that takes your fancy.  Don't forget to help yourself to as many samples as possible as you go round.

Marinade for an hour or so in a nearby lunchtime pub - in a decent pint of bitter or two.

Go your various ways to prepare your purchases and leave to cool.

The next morning, pack everything up, travel to Hampstead Heath and find your spot (under the tree with the '18' certificate - or so we assumed when couples with children hurried away from us once the anecdotes started).

Spend several hours eating sausage pie, cheese and onion pie, dhal pasties, garlic & lemon roasted chicken, Asian slaw, tabbouleh, Sicilian lemon salad, grilled radiccio with parmesan, potato salad with fresh dill, olive/sundried tomato/mozarella bread and lots of full-fat cheese.

Wash down with frozen Sea Breezes and plenty of giggles.

That was some picnic.
10.4.07 16:43


Was that really necessary?

Honestly. 

You turn up for work in a swooshy black cotton skirt with a nice Moroccan belt, black tee-shirt and boots, and everyone pretends to faint and shouts things like "Look!  It's a girl!!"
2.4.07 13:19


Poor Puddy Tat

On my way to the gym last night (just thought I'd drop that in - ouch ouch ouch), I had a call from Chefboy.

You may recall that Chefboy and Beau have just emerged from over 6 weeks of 16 hour days, 7 day weeks, working on shots for a film that will be out in not-too-long.  Their plan was to take some time out - clear the mountains of washing that have built up in their flat,  get their heating system fixed (they've had no hot water for weeks due to a leaking tank) and go on holiday somewhere nice and warm to kick back for a bit.

So, I was a tad surprised to hear "Hi darlin'!  We might be going to Prague on Monday for a couple of weeks work.  Any chance you could look after the Howling Cat?"

Of course I can.  Their flat is huge and has all mod cons - and broadband and cable and my bedroom there is almost as big as my whole flat.  The kitchen has every gadget you might ever want to play with.

And it's about time I got my revenge on the Howling Cat after the way he behaved last time I was in charge.

I am looking forward to sneaking up on him just as he settles down for a snooze after having done his best to keep me up all night and miaowing loudly in his furry ear.  Who knew a cat could jump that high?

Mwaahahahahahaha .....
30.3.07 09:57


For once, the law is not an ass

Was anyone else more than a bit aghast at the news story of the dozy mare who was suing her landlords because she fell through a skylight on a garage roof she was dancing on, which was adjacent to the flat she was renting.  She was suing them for failing to warn her not to dance on the roof while thoroughly mullahed at her own birthday party.

The salient points were:

1.  She was pissed (see above).

2.  The garage roof she was dancing on was not part of the property she was renting.

3.  In order to get to said garage roof to dance/fall through skylight, she had to climb out of a window.

4.  Onto someone else's garage.

5.  She was pissed.

In fit of blinding common sense, Judge Sir John Blofeld (at the High Court, no less), said that the dozy cow had no authority to go on the roof and therefore the landlords were not responsible for her 'thoroughly unpleasant injuries'.

No shit Sherlock.
29.3.07 14:04


Holibobs

If I ever get round to organising anything, Lovely Temp Girl and I are planning to sneak off for a little bit of cheap sunshine over the Easter break.  Somewhere classy - like Tenerife or Lanzarote, perhaps.

A thought occurred.

The way her luck's been running lately - I would tell you, but then I might have to kill you - I intend to make sure all possible eventualities have been covered.  So I have finally applied for a European Health Insurance Card - so any health-related travel insurance company won't be able to get out of paying up when we fall off a bar and break our legs slip on a wet floor and graze our knees.  I suggest you do the same.

Go here: EHIC .

It's free.
8.3.07 16:35


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