The Value of Nothing
The ancient art of tantric hair-combing
I ended up this afternoon, for reasons too convoluted to go
into, at the
Mind Body & Soul exhibition at Kempton Park racecourse. I don't
believe in psychics, the only mediums I've ever indulged in are 10"
pizzas and being a typical Capricorn I'm naturally sceptical of
horoscopes. Nonetheless, I suspended my scepticism and went in
determined to enjoy - and if I managed to get my chi realigned, so much
the better.
The Mind Body & Soul exhibition (MBS to its friends) is all about
relaxation, inner growth, getting in touch with your inner-self. Oh,
and making shitloads of money. For a mere £40 starting fee you could
have your tarot cards read by 'Grandfather Michael', a bearded hippy
type at a table. In fact he would not only read your cards but also
swipe them with his chip'n'pin terminal which sat by his side raking in
the profits which surely even he hadn't predicted.
I passed a little too close to 'Marianne' - self-styled
'internationally acclaimed' medium who was about £26.50 of the way
through one of her internationally acclaimed readings.
"...in fact I'd even go so far as to question your ex-husband's sexuality." she mused
"That's very interesting..." replied the dykey looking woman having the reading.
Kerching.
You can't put a value on inner contentment. But you can put a price on
it. £15 to have your aura photographed, £15 for an introductory massage
and for a mere fiver a bloke with a beard would wave his hand six
inches above your head and make your life better.
Talking Shiatsu
But, there was free stuff on offer. So we left our disbelief outside
(near a fire extinguisher if I recall correctly) and entered the
Meditation Room for meditation on life's journey, the road we were
taking and the path to true happiness. Our guide for this journey was a
softly spoken Indian woman adept at the art of
speaking....very...slowly... saying very little and saying it over and
over again in different ways. She spoke for thirty minutes yet managed
to say nothing, during which time I meditated on the fact that she had
breached the Health & Safety At Work Act by covering a Fire Exit
with chiffon drapes and fretted that I had left my phone on in my
jacket and at any minute our collective journey to inner peace would be
shattered by the Nokia ringtone.
What was next on the programme? I quote:
We go beyond words into silence, sit with our innermost selves and experience the timeless beauty of peace.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you get to sit in a room in total silence
for half an hour. And you paid for entry to a racecourse
in Sunbury to do that?
The whole experience has left me very stressed out.
The ancient art of tantric hair-combing
I ended up this afternoon, for reasons too convoluted to go
into, at the
Mind Body & Soul exhibition at Kempton Park racecourse. I don't
believe in psychics, the only mediums I've ever indulged in are 10"
pizzas and being a typical Capricorn I'm naturally sceptical of
horoscopes. Nonetheless, I suspended my scepticism and went in
determined to enjoy - and if I managed to get my chi realigned, so much
the better.
The Mind Body & Soul exhibition (MBS to its friends) is all about
relaxation, inner growth, getting in touch with your inner-self. Oh,
and making shitloads of money. For a mere £40 starting fee you could
have your tarot cards read by 'Grandfather Michael', a bearded hippy
type at a table. In fact he would not only read your cards but also
swipe them with his chip'n'pin terminal which sat by his side raking in
the profits which surely even he hadn't predicted.
I passed a little too close to 'Marianne' - self-styled
'internationally acclaimed' medium who was about £26.50 of the way
through one of her internationally acclaimed readings.
"...in fact I'd even go so far as to question your ex-husband's sexuality." she mused
"That's very interesting..." replied the dykey looking woman having the reading.
Kerching.
You can't put a value on inner contentment. But you can put a price on
it. £15 to have your aura photographed, £15 for an introductory massage
and for a mere fiver a bloke with a beard would wave his hand six
inches above your head and make your life better.
Talking Shiatsu
But, there was free stuff on offer. So we left our disbelief outside
(near a fire extinguisher if I recall correctly) and entered the
Meditation Room for meditation on life's journey, the road we were
taking and the path to true happiness. Our guide for this journey was a
softly spoken Indian woman adept at the art of
speaking....very...slowly... saying very little and saying it over and
over again in different ways. She spoke for thirty minutes yet managed
to say nothing, during which time I meditated on the fact that she had
breached the Health & Safety At Work Act by covering a Fire Exit
with chiffon drapes and fretted that I had left my phone on in my
jacket and at any minute our collective journey to inner peace would be
shattered by the Nokia ringtone.
What was next on the programme? I quote:
| Silent
Meditation |
|
|
4.45pm -5.15pm Admission Free |
We go beyond words into silence, sit with our innermost selves and experience the timeless beauty of peace.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you get to sit in a room in total silence
for half an hour. And you paid for entry to a racecourse
in Sunbury to do that?
The whole experience has left me very stressed out.
| 11.3.06 23:07 |
